Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! The Fall 2005 issue of Interweave Knits is on the stands (yes, already), so I was, of course, compelled to immediately buy it.
Alas. It is teh suck as it were. There are a couple of patterns in it that are *almost* tempting, and yet, not. And the rest of it? Meh. At best. Go here and see for yourself.
See? Toldja. Here’s my (abbreviated) thoughts project by project:
Brioche Helmet Hat - probably one of the few things I’ll end up making.
Bukly Brioche Raglan - Um, no. Too bulky, too long, too heavy, too something.
Cable Cascade Pullover - Oooh! A super warm butthugger! Not. Good.
Rib & Cable Socks - Yet another perfectly acceptable but not exciting sock pattern.
Cabled Shrug - You could drive a tractor up those sleeves. Nothing about this one looks practical or really wearable.
Canteen Bag - Again: eh. Another felted purse. Yawn.
Chenille Cutaway Jacket - I kind of like the lines of this one. Kind of. Hate chenille, though, so it’s hard for me to look past that and see it in something more wearable.
Drop Stitch Cardigan - Big fat EH. Looks like something you’d find in Knitter’s or InKnits. Chunky! Fast! Shapeless!
Felted Floral Collar - Um, wtf? Would anyone actually wear this thing? Seriously? Yes, felting is all the rage right now, as are those god-awful capelets, but please. Puh-LEEZE. (the model, on the other hand, is all kinds of cute)
Weekend Getaway Satchel - Surprise, surpise, more felted stuff. Almost cute, but weird, impractical, difficult to get your crap in and out of shape. Alas.
Greek Pullover - Another of the ‘close but not quite’ pieces. I kind of like it, I kind of don’t. Maybe if I were 6′ tall and flat chested it would appeal more. Not sure.
Braided Blues - Weirdly shaped - the sleeves look really narrow, and the body looks really long. Not a look that works on the human body, really. Beyond that, it’s fine. Not great, not ‘oh my god I need to make that’ wonderful, just whatever.
Union Square Market Sweater - Another ‘close but not quite’ sweater. I kind of like the neckline, but know it probably wouldn’t work on me. I loathe bell sleeves more than almost anything, but that’s just a personal issue. They work on a lot of people, just not me. No way no how. I probably won’t end up making this one either.
Veste Everest - It’s a vest. I don’t do vests. ‘Nuff said.
Blissful Jacket - Um… No. Nothing appealing about that one at all.
Fair Isle Hoodie & Cardigan - Oh dear god no. No no no no no. Run away. Run away! Gah. The stuff bad dreams are made of. Right up there with clowns. In fact…
Vintage Inspired Jacket - GAH. The original piece that this was modelled after was WONDERFUL. As a knit jacket it Does. Not. Work. And the Beyond The Basics article that follows? Have you read her book about designing knitwear? No? Take that article and stretch it out to a couple hundred pages and you’ve got the idea. Yes? Then you’ve heard all this before and really probably don’t care how she swatches a billion times. There’s no useful design information there to speak of, really. Yes, color and texture and interesting edgings. How about structure, kids? We’d like some of that.
Textured Coat - BWAH HA HA HA HA! Oooh! Lumpy! Tres chic!
Essential Indulgence - Another one that I kind of almost like, but… not enough to make, methinks. Alas.
Suede Vest - This is a joke, right? Really. Why on earth would anyone make this? It’s horrendous. Skinny little top part with extra hip-widening action! Could she look any worse? She’s so cute, and yet this makes her look excessively misshapen. Tragic. Absolutely tragic.
Fair Isle Skirt - Eh. Almost cute, but… I’m thinking that unless you’re a size 4 or smaller this would be a terrible mistake to apply to your ass. I could be wrong, but I’m thinking it would make anyone look a LOT wider than they really are.
Fur Trimmed Wrap - Another terrible waste of cashmere. Cashmere and fake fur novelty yarn should never, ever, under any circumstances be used in the same project. Ever. Ditch the evil novelty yarn trim and it might work. Might.
And, people, please. The poncho thing? Let’s go over it one more time. They were ugly in the 70’s, they’re ugly now. Clear? Ok. So stop already. Please.
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